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10 Do's and Don't's After Taking a Kid to College

8/24/2015

4 Comments

 
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The house is quieter than usual. Cleaner. You have more free time. You waffle between sad and glad. Here are a few suggestions for your first few weeks at home without Binky.
1. Do not listen to Pandora. The Broadway station will play Sunrise, Sunset. The Eagles station will play Disco Strangler. The Opera station will play O Mio Babbino Caro. Just stick with something perky from your iTunes playlist.  I recommend the Beach Boys, Vivaldi, or some hippie Jesus music like this.
2. Do not be a helicopter parent! The first week Binky is gone, assure yourself that the Monosyllabic Texts (MTs) are because Binky is having so much fun with those wholesome Welcome Week activities.  Binky and the new friends are probably having a scavenger hunt on campus.

The second week, assure yourself that the MTs are due to Binky’s efforts to be early for each lecture. Or maybe that cool English teacher invited the class over for dinner.  Free-range chicken and organic broccoli. Yeah.

The third week, assure yourself that the MTs are due to Binky’s desire to concentrate fully on studies. No time for chitchat. Plenty of sleep is important for growing teens, so Binky probably went to bed early.
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What Binky was Actually Doing
3. Cry when there is one pork chop left over.  It would have been Binky’s. 

4. Paint Binky’s room. That battleship gray, chosen during the moody pre-teen years, has to go. Just cover Binky’s stuff with plastic sheeting--DO NOT move Binky’s stuff into the living room, creating a Binky Shrine. The cats will sleep on the Shrine, you will see that the cats miss Binky, you will cry. Paint the room a neutral color, get some grown-up bedding, put Binky’s junior high whiffleball trophies in a box.  Now you have a guest room.

5. Remember that thing you always wanted to do but didn’t have time? Do it.  Target practice, cleaning out the linen closet, meeting your high school friend in Vegas, whatever.  Just do it.

6. Late at night when you can’t sleep, do not google Binky’s name.  You will find only Binky’s sixth-grade sports scores.  Remember that cute little red uniform, the small hands clutching the shiny medal. Cry.

7. Feel oddly comforted when Binky’s cat begins sleeping on your bed.


8. Go to dinner and a movie with spouse or friends.  Feel slightly giddy that you don’t have to check on Binky.

9. Read this book. Not only will it invoke divine help, it will help you see Binky as a grownup.

10. Go visit Binky for Parents’ Weekend.  Marvel at how healthy and happy Binky looks. Cry. Binky does not need you so much anymore. Breath. This is what success feels like. Stop crying.

If you missed the first two posts in this series, you may now read them. 10 Things to do Before Taking a Kid to College and 10 Things to Do on College Drop-off Day

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4 Comments
Gary Cooper
8/24/2015 07:28:44 am

I wish I had these suggestions when our nest was clearing out.

Reply
Yvonne
8/24/2015 09:57:59 am

But, Gary, where do you think I got this stuff?! From watching my friends who have kids older than mine! Friends like you and Ana.

Reply
Helen
8/31/2015 03:55:30 am

Thanks for the laughs and the suggestions.

Reply
Yvonne
9/2/2015 03:42:50 am

Now all my college kids are gone, I'm trying to take my own suggestions.

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