 | “But Yvonne,” you say, “why would I, a mature responsible homeowner in a stable relationship, ever need to crash with anybody? Not only do I have an extremely predictable lifestyle, Corporate America has me covered during all transitions!” Well, good for you. However, you never know what might happen. You might be between jobs and Corporate America lets you down, between relationships, sick, between houses, or between awesome opportunities which require you to let go of your house. Just in case, read on. |
We found ourselves in need of housing this year when we were getting ready to go on our big round-the-world trip. We needed to put our possessions in storage, send my husband on an international business trip, move out of our apartment, and wait around while Kid 3 finished school, all in the same season. Yes, we could have stayed in a hotel or Airbnb, but sitting in a room staring at each other and waiting for dinner time to drive down to El Pollo Loco just didn’t sound appetizing. Or healthy. Physically or emotionally.
So we decided to impose on some loved ones. Here are my tips.
Think about what you really need. If you really need a Tempur-Pedic mattress, blackout shades, a nut-free kitchen, and a bidet, this is going to be tricky. Re-think your priorities. We needed two beds, room to stretch out in, coffee and cereal in the morning, and dinner at night, which of course I would be happy to help with.
Try these things:
Now, do you have someone in mind? Good! Explain your situation to your potential host. If you have chosen well, they’ll offer before you finish your story. If they don’t offer, pretend you were just telling a funny story about that thing with the squirrel, and go back to the drawing board. Eventually, somebody will probably offer. If nobody does, you seriously need to rethink your life goals and personal habits. I’m just saying.
After you move in:
If you find yourself in need of temporary housing, for reasons good or bad, I wish you all the best!
Tell me if you’ve been in this situation. What worked for you?
So we decided to impose on some loved ones. Here are my tips.
Think about what you really need. If you really need a Tempur-Pedic mattress, blackout shades, a nut-free kitchen, and a bidet, this is going to be tricky. Re-think your priorities. We needed two beds, room to stretch out in, coffee and cereal in the morning, and dinner at night, which of course I would be happy to help with.
Try these things:
- Pick people you have already vacationed with, or people so close that you feel like you’ve vacationed with them. If you’ve already seen them in their pajamas, and vice-versa, you’re halfway there. There will be fewer surprises regarding personal privacy or habits. You will not be shocked when you find your host in a pink sparkly bathrobe and Donald Duck slippers, making coffee and humming I Will Survive at 6 a.m.
- Pick someone whose unfulfilled dream job is to run a boarding house. Best case scenario.
- Pick someone who is used to having guests.
- People who have college kids that are away at school are excellent choices.
- Pick someone whose household habits and socio-economic status are close to yours. If you are a person who eats scrambled egg hash out of a skillet perched on your stomach while watching Duck Dynasty on the couch, think twice about moving in with your cousin who has a yoga room and a gender-neutral personal assistant named Gwen. It’ll be the Beverly Hillbillies all over again.
- Pick someone who is easy going so you (and they) can be flexible about the situation. Honest conversations are a must.
Now, do you have someone in mind? Good! Explain your situation to your potential host. If you have chosen well, they’ll offer before you finish your story. If they don’t offer, pretend you were just telling a funny story about that thing with the squirrel, and go back to the drawing board. Eventually, somebody will probably offer. If nobody does, you seriously need to rethink your life goals and personal habits. I’m just saying.
After you move in:
- Pull your own weight. You might have to go out of your comfort zone, but that’s ok. Offer to cook dinner. Replenish the pantry. Empty the dishwasher. Vacuum.
- Figure out where you’re comfortable. Do you like sitting on the couch watching tv with the host in the evening, or reading in your room? Pick one. Is your bedtime compatible with the house’s bedtime, or do you want to sleep two hours earlier? If so, get earplugs. Don’t crowd the bathroom! Make sure the host gets to stick with his/her usual schedule.
- Be considerate. If you vomit in the bushes, hose them down. If you break something, replace it or pay for it. If you wake the host up playing Rachmaninoff on the piano at 2 am, apologize and don’t do it again. Or at least switch to Chopin. If you accidentally show the host’s 8-year-old Night of the Living Dead, tell the host quick before the kid does. Your version is a lot safer than his.
- If you choose your host wisely, you probably have similar tastes in alcohol, smoking, and overnight visitors, so there shouldn’t be much conflict there. However, even the best of friends have different views on politics, religion, and gluten-free lifestyles. Avoid such inflammatory topics. (Get it? Because gluten is an inflammatory? See what I did there? Hahahaha!) Anyway, rejoice in your similarities and avoid your differences.
- Be grateful, but don’t gush, unless you know your host expects that and you’re happy to gush. Most people just want to get on with their lives, and an occasional well-timed “thank you” is usually all it takes.
If you find yourself in need of temporary housing, for reasons good or bad, I wish you all the best!
Tell me if you’ve been in this situation. What worked for you?
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