 | Dear Paris, I don’t know if you remember me, but I visited you a couple of times in the past few years. I was the one who spoke high school French and ate your snails and frog legs. In a black coat. Walked a lot. Ring any bells? Well, we had some good times together. |
I’m writing because I’ve decided that with all your romance and love and light and accordions, you were flirting with me, and therefore I’ve decided to take you up on your (nonverbal) offer and move in. Hey, you know what I always say--don’t flirt if you can’t deliver.
Sorry if it seems a bit sudden, but I promise I’ve gone over all possible outcomes and it still looks like a risk worth taking. I’ve talked to other people that you successfully wooed, and it worked out for them. Also, my high school French seemed to open quite a few doors.
Just a few things I’d like to go over before we put a ring on it:
The realtor says she can get us a nice place to live, so please work with her. I need someplace reasonably priced, but big enough to accommodate our teenager and the new boisterous friends that he’ll bring over to play video games and eat my endless crepe feasts. (You’d be proud of my crepes! They’re delicious, but I’m sure I’ll refine my technique with your grocery stores and markets.) I need three bedrooms, because my college kids need a place that’s big enough to stay for short or long trips, and to bring their significant others when that happens. But I’m not going to think about that right now.
The school we’ve picked for the teenager looks good, so please make sure nothing goes wrong there. I’d like the kid to stay safe and thrive with all those terrific activities they offer. He’s also looking forward to roaming your streets on foot and aboard public transportation, so I’d appreciate it if your police force is really on the ball. I’m not worried, but we do need to be prepared for any emergency. I’m sure he won’t give you any trouble. He’s a really good guy. Thanks for looking out for him.
I’ve been stalking different churches online, and it looks like there are several good options. Of course, the choice of which church to pick is up to us, but if you have any suggestions I’m open to them. I need a bunch of friendly, loving people with a rocking youth group full of scrappy, welcoming kids that aren’t afraid to call it like they see it.
OK, this next one is really important. My husband plays serious ping pong, and he’s going to need help finding clubs. I know you have them, because we googled it and found a bunch of clubs, but between our frail French and your gruff demeanor, I’m afraid it will be tricky finding a good fit. Just work with us on that one, ok?
Just one more thing--we need to work on our French, and I’m not sure how to go about that. We’ll need three different kinds of language classes--early intermediate for me, beginner for my husband, and something not-dorky for the teenager. We’re willing to try our language skills with any clerk, waiter, police officer, or person-on-the-street, so if you could meet us halfway and line up some helpful, friendly people, I’d appreciate it.
Well, I guess that’s about it. I know you really turn up the charm for tourists, but I’m hoping the love you showed me wasn’t just empty flattery. I hope you really meant it.
See you soon,
Yvonne
Sorry if it seems a bit sudden, but I promise I’ve gone over all possible outcomes and it still looks like a risk worth taking. I’ve talked to other people that you successfully wooed, and it worked out for them. Also, my high school French seemed to open quite a few doors.
Just a few things I’d like to go over before we put a ring on it:
The realtor says she can get us a nice place to live, so please work with her. I need someplace reasonably priced, but big enough to accommodate our teenager and the new boisterous friends that he’ll bring over to play video games and eat my endless crepe feasts. (You’d be proud of my crepes! They’re delicious, but I’m sure I’ll refine my technique with your grocery stores and markets.) I need three bedrooms, because my college kids need a place that’s big enough to stay for short or long trips, and to bring their significant others when that happens. But I’m not going to think about that right now.
The school we’ve picked for the teenager looks good, so please make sure nothing goes wrong there. I’d like the kid to stay safe and thrive with all those terrific activities they offer. He’s also looking forward to roaming your streets on foot and aboard public transportation, so I’d appreciate it if your police force is really on the ball. I’m not worried, but we do need to be prepared for any emergency. I’m sure he won’t give you any trouble. He’s a really good guy. Thanks for looking out for him.
I’ve been stalking different churches online, and it looks like there are several good options. Of course, the choice of which church to pick is up to us, but if you have any suggestions I’m open to them. I need a bunch of friendly, loving people with a rocking youth group full of scrappy, welcoming kids that aren’t afraid to call it like they see it.
OK, this next one is really important. My husband plays serious ping pong, and he’s going to need help finding clubs. I know you have them, because we googled it and found a bunch of clubs, but between our frail French and your gruff demeanor, I’m afraid it will be tricky finding a good fit. Just work with us on that one, ok?
Just one more thing--we need to work on our French, and I’m not sure how to go about that. We’ll need three different kinds of language classes--early intermediate for me, beginner for my husband, and something not-dorky for the teenager. We’re willing to try our language skills with any clerk, waiter, police officer, or person-on-the-street, so if you could meet us halfway and line up some helpful, friendly people, I’d appreciate it.
Well, I guess that’s about it. I know you really turn up the charm for tourists, but I’m hoping the love you showed me wasn’t just empty flattery. I hope you really meant it.
See you soon,
Yvonne
A chocolate shop named “The Mother of the Family.” You get me, Paris.
