What’s the most shocking thing about the current French elections? Is it that Marine Le Pen is the most elegant right-wing populist ever? No. Is it that Emmanuel Macron is married to his high school teacher? No. (And by the way, let’s stop judging him for that relationship--if we’re honest, everybody had the hots for at least one of their high school teachers. Macron just succeeded where the rest of us failed.)
The most shocking thing about the French elections is that I am older than both top candidates! I’ve never been older than a national leader before. Maybe that explains why I think George Clooney is hot but Ryan Gosling is a sweet boy.
America still makes the best hamburgers and pizza I’ve ever had. (Granted, I’ve never been to Italy, so the jury’s still out on the pizza.) But American burgers are big and fat and juicy with crispy veggies and luxurious sauces. American pizza is also big and fat and juicy. Other countries’ burgers are thin with pale veggies and require way too much chewing, and other countries’ pizzas have weird toppings (tuna, corn, sunny-side up eggs, whole olives) with very thin soggy crust and skimpy cheese. If you want to call them Tough Beef Sandwiches or Thin Dough With Stuff On Top, go ahead. Just don’t call them hamburgers and pizza. |
It’s hard to rent an apartment in France because all the laws favor tenants so landlords want to be really sure that you’re a fantastic person before they rent to you. First, you need the above-mentioned bank account. Then you have to put six months or a year’s rent payments in a special bank account in your landlord’s name to prove that you’ll pay for at least that long. Remember the movie 3 Days to Kill, the French-American 2014 thriller starring Kevin Costner, where Costner’s character’s Paris apartment is taken over by squatters? No? You didn’t watch it with your loved ones? Well, anyway, in France if squatters stay in your apartment for more than 48 hours you legally can’t kick them out. Nope. You have to go through a lengthy legal process, and you can’t do it in the winter because you’d kick them out in the cold and that’s mean. Therefore, French landlords really want you to prove you’re worthy. Americans are known as good renters (good job, guys!) so we had an advantage there. I’m all for sticking up for the disadvantaged, and making sure the powerful don’t abuse their power, but this is a little overboard. Still, I’m new in town and I’ll go with the system since I have no choice.
If we don’t get an apartment in a couple of days, our time is up in our Airbnb and we have to go to a hotel, because there are no other Airbnbs available. Hey! Wait! We could just squat here! Yeah, that’s it! We’ll just stay put and they can’t kick us out! It will take the landlord a while because he’ll have to go through that lengthy legal process, and maybe by then we’ll have an apartment. The only drawback is that I’m afraid I’d be eaten up by guilt. Hmm. I’ll have to think about that one. I’ll let you know. Do you have any questions about life in France? I have a ton of questions that I’m trying to answer gradually. Let me know and I’ll do my best to answer them! Have a good day! |