The Modern Woman's Guide to Shorts

The weather is warming up, and you know what that means: shorts!

​We grew up when this was the style...

...​and now our style has devolved to this.

Please, don’t let this happen to you! Or if it already has, let’s get you out of your rut.

It’s hard to find shorts at our age because, like swimsuits, they all seem to be designed for teens or grandmas. I have researched this topic long and hard, though, and I think I’ve found some middle ground. There are a multitude of shorts styles on the market today, and we can find something that works for every body, every weight, every height. Are you with me?

A brief note on leg care. Get yourself a good razor, some nice shave cream, lotion, and sunscreen. Get those gams in shape to be seen, no matter your height, weight, size, skin color, or cellulite condition. Most empty-nest-aged women still have nice legs, just from a point lower on the thigh than when you wore Daisy Dukes. Don’t worry if your legs don’t look like they did when you were 20. Rock the you that you are today, not the one you were at 20.

---

​By the way, if you chose not to wear shorts because of your religion, your varicose veins, or your current residence in Abu Dhabi, you have my support. May I suggest these linen joggers? I got them at Athleta, but there are similar kinds in many stores. They are cooler than most pants, can be dressed up or down, and are very comfortable.

---

Back to the shorts. First, some good news. There are a lot of shorts available today, unlike in 1980 when men and women all sported daringly short shorts. Today, you can find every length from We Wear Short Shorts to bermudas. Look for something mid-thigh length, loose enough to be comfortable but with legs slim enough that you avoid the Boy Scout look.

​I find shopping for shorts easier than shopping for pants because the fit of shorts is more casual and therefore more forgiving. Also, leg length is not such a big deal because you can easily cuff them or have them hemmed to their most flattering length.

Things to avoid in shorts shopping:

• Fabric the same color as your skin. You do not want to appear nude from a distance.
• Too-short shorts. You have other assets now.
• Stiff fabric. Stove-pipe legs just don’t give you a flattering silhouette.
• Cargo shorts. Who needs extra bulk on her thighs? Not us.

Things to look for in shorts shopping:

• Soft but substantial fabrics. You want them to drape, but still hold their shape.
• Some wiggle room.  Don’t worry about what size the tag says, just think about how they make you feel. Can you walk, sit, and squat? You never know when you’ll have to squat. Be prepared.
• Get some neutral colors and some bold colors. Be sure you have enough neutral shirts and bold shirts to make complete outfits.

Styling tips:

• Since you’re showing so much skin on your legs, don’t show it everywhere else. Pair shorts with a looser top, a blouse with sleeves, or a light layered look. That way, you’ll feel covered enough to be confident but still have the light-weight ease of a summer outfit.
• Wear low-heeled shoes with shorts, unless you’re rocking some longer dressy shorts with heels and jewelry (see below).

​
Next, some outfit ideas: 

• The sporty shorts outfit. This is good for days when you have to be on your feet in the heat. These shorts are the shortest ones I have, so I wear them with a flat, substantial shoe which grounds the look. A casual t-shirt looks more grown-up if you wear a chunky necklace with it.  I don’t know why. It just does. Try it!
  

• The casual shorts outfit. This one is for those times you need to look a little more respectable. Flats or walking shoes, a nice blouse, and a little jewelry will get you in the door wherever you want to go. Cuff the shorts.
  

• The dressy shorts outfit. These are the same basics as the casual outfit, with dressier  bits thrown in and the cuffs unrolled. Dinner out? Noontime concert? Confrontational town hall meeting? Heels (not too high, please, or you’ll tip over into Cougar Town), an extra layer on top, and your prettiest tinkly jewelry. This is a nice substitute for a skirt, because we all know that nothing is ickier in summertime than peeling your skirt off your backside when you stand up, or feeling your thighs stick together. Dressy shorts take care of both those issues. You’ll knock em dead!

Wait, did I just hear you say, “But Yvonne, I just want to be comfortable and I don’t care what I look like and this is all too fussy for me?” Hold it right there, sister. We’re not trying to gussy you up like you’re going to prom, we just want your insides to match your outsides, and on the inside you are creative, beautiful, resourceful, clever, and kind. If you dress like a has-been/loser/frump, then that’s how people will treat you. Let me give you a driving example.

For the past couple of decades, our family cars have been a minivan and a Prius. Usually they were dirty with a few dings on the fenders. When I drove those cars, I felt like they presented my weakest side because I am a cautious driver and those cars get you no respect on the road. People cut me off, zoomed into my parking space when I already had my blinker on, and never let me merge. Then, one day, when the minivan was on its last legs, my husband brought home a used Mercedes SUV. It wasn’t fancy, but it was in good shape. Big and powerful. Suddenly, my driving experience was transformed! When I put my blinker on to change lanes, that line of cars made a hole for me. At four-way stops, they gestured for me to go first. Pedestrians sped up to a courtesy trot while I waited for them at crosswalks. I was the same person behind the wheel, but they didn’t know that. Just because I was driving a bigger, faster, more expensive car, other people began to treat me like the person I wanted to be: the confident, capable Yvonne I always knew was in there.

That’s what a nice outfit does for you. It doesn’t change you, it lets people see the You that you want them to see.  

If you think you shouldn’t wear shorts because of age, weight, pasty-white legs (like me), or a nasty remark that someone made and you never got over, please rethink. Find yourself some shorts that work for you, put them into a cute outfit, and get out there and enjoy yourself in comfort! Summer is a fun time, it’s hot out there, and you can wear whatever you want.