 | So you’re coming to Paris! That’s so exciting! You’re going to need to pee while you’re here, and it’s not as easy as in some other parts of the world. Let’s get you ready. |
First of all, if you’re from Japan (best toilets in the world, IMHO, see link below) or other places with an A+ restroom situation, you’ve got to just put all those gleaming fully-equipped private stalls out of your mind. Ditto with sinks, paper towels, privacy, and space.
By the way, in Europe, they’re called toilettes, not restrooms, not bathrooms. I know, I know, Americans consider the toilet to be the actual throne, but in Europe the toilettes (always plural) are the whole room.
Warning: some French toilets don’t have toilet seats. This just feels so wrong to me. I always build a toilet paper temple to cover the seat. It’s an elaborate arrangement of crisscrossed strips that completely cover that cold narrow oval. When I flush it looks like a flower imploding on itself.
Here’s where to go:
Most malls have toilettes, but you might have to pay for them. It’s usually no more than one euro, so you might as well cough up the cash. No, they do not take credit cards. These bathrooms will probably be moderately clean and well-stocked, but they are popular so you will have to wait in line for a few minutes.
Most department stores have restrooms, usually on an upper floor. They’re probably free, but there will be a line.
By the way, in Europe, they’re called toilettes, not restrooms, not bathrooms. I know, I know, Americans consider the toilet to be the actual throne, but in Europe the toilettes (always plural) are the whole room.
Warning: some French toilets don’t have toilet seats. This just feels so wrong to me. I always build a toilet paper temple to cover the seat. It’s an elaborate arrangement of crisscrossed strips that completely cover that cold narrow oval. When I flush it looks like a flower imploding on itself.
Here’s where to go:
Most malls have toilettes, but you might have to pay for them. It’s usually no more than one euro, so you might as well cough up the cash. No, they do not take credit cards. These bathrooms will probably be moderately clean and well-stocked, but they are popular so you will have to wait in line for a few minutes.
Most department stores have restrooms, usually on an upper floor. They’re probably free, but there will be a line.
| One of the least appetizing options, for me, is the free-standing self-cleaning toilet. You’ll see these oval, green latrines located around Paris. You might have to pay, coins only, and inside there will be a metal seat-less toilet or a squat potty. (If you’re new to squat potties, please read my helpful post below.) There are scary signs saying This door’s gonna pop open if you don’t come out in fifteen minutes or something like that, which really makes it hard to relax and get your business done. Just focus. There’s a hand-washing station in there, but no paper towels. When you leave, the whole structure locks itself and some sort of carwash action goes on in there. That explains the drippy surfaces when you first go it. Not my favorite. Here’s a link to the public toilettes. Good luck. |  |
Cafes and restaurants have toilettes, usually located at the back of the dining area or downstairs in the basement. There are an infinite number of toilettes possibilities in these cases: single gender, shared gender, single toilets but shared sinks, toilet plus urinal, you name it. Just pick the one you need. This is not North Carolina. Nobody cares.
 |  |
This leads me to another option, the toilet sneak. You nonchalantly walk into a cafe, pretending that you were dining on the terrace, and that you’ve decided to go to the toilettes. (If your arms are full of shopping bags and you’re doing the peepee dance, that’s a dead giveaway, so act the part.) Every time I’ve tried this, a waiter has met me leaving and asked me pointedly what I would like to order. I just don’t have much sneakiness available to me, apparently. My friend Anna has another option--she slides the bartender a 2 Euro coin and says I really need to use your toilet but don’t have time for a coffee. Can I buy you one? That usually works.
 | Some parks have toilets. Parc Monceau has the most beautiful toilette I’ve ever seen (well, I mean the outside, because I’ve never been in there). You might have to pay. |
 | Try this toilette adventure! Go to the Ritz Hotel. Ask the charming doorman where the Bar Hemingway is. It’s about a mile back there, past lots of fancy shops. When you get to the bar, don’t go in, but look around for some stairs, just past the seating area. Down the stairs, next to the event spaces, will be the restrooms, and they are the most outrageously gaudy restrooms I’ve ever seen. Shiny gold fixtures, swan faucets, very glam. They do have really nice soap and hand lotion, though, with private stalls and real terrycloth towels. And it’s free! Live it up! But you didn’t hear that from me. |
Next to the Bateau Mouche, there is a public toilet on the quai. My sources tell me that they are porta-potties and it costs fifty cents. My sources also tell me they are gross. There are toilettes on board the Bateau Mouche. I have no sources regarding those toilettes, so we’ll just say that they exist.
Some Metro stations have toilettes. I’d rather just hold it, thanks.
Note to those who stand to pee: a lot of men in Paris just pee on the street, or between buildings, or in the metro station gutters. Please don’t do that! It’s nasty. Also, Paris has a few uritrottoirs around town. They are waist-high plastic bins full of straw. Guys, we all know you are proud of your easy-access plumbing, but please, keep your dignity intact and don’t give me something I can’t un-see. Find a restroom. Thank you.
Do you have any more toilet options in Paris that I’ve missed? Tell me your secrets in the comments section below!
Here are some of my other handy toilet guides. Or click here to subscribe to my newsletter and get all the latest toilet info.
Japanese Public Toilets: Women’s Edition
Squat Potty: Success in 8 Steps
Girlfriend’s Guide to Going to the Bathroom in China
Some Metro stations have toilettes. I’d rather just hold it, thanks.
Note to those who stand to pee: a lot of men in Paris just pee on the street, or between buildings, or in the metro station gutters. Please don’t do that! It’s nasty. Also, Paris has a few uritrottoirs around town. They are waist-high plastic bins full of straw. Guys, we all know you are proud of your easy-access plumbing, but please, keep your dignity intact and don’t give me something I can’t un-see. Find a restroom. Thank you.
Do you have any more toilet options in Paris that I’ve missed? Tell me your secrets in the comments section below!
Here are some of my other handy toilet guides. Or click here to subscribe to my newsletter and get all the latest toilet info.
Japanese Public Toilets: Women’s Edition
Squat Potty: Success in 8 Steps
Girlfriend’s Guide to Going to the Bathroom in China